Our founder, Jasmine, along with her pal, Mandy head to the mall this past week in search of a sexy dress.
This statement has a lot of errors in it.
First, you’ve got to define sexy. Typically Jasmine thinks sexy constitutes classic dresses with chic embellishments but this time she wanted to find something extraordinary. Something unusual. Something outside of her comfort zone.
Second, Mandy believes anything with glitter constitutes sex appeal.
Third, Jasmine knows what cuts work for her body type and yet she decided to throw all caution to the wind just to see how well the rules for dressing for her body type work.
Fourthly, Jasmine has absolutely no trouble finding clothes that suit her at Goodwill so she had a lot of trouble stomaching spending hundreds of dollars on a skimpy little ensemble.
So we’re sure you can see where this is going.
There they are at the mall. They’ve combed through racks of rack embellishments at Victoria’s Secret, they’ve manhandled mesh dresses at Charlotte Russe, and plundered the sale section at Bon Ton.
They’ve found nothing.
And suddenly Jasmine understands why women start to feel desperate and hopeless in the mall. If you don’t know the rules for your body type, and you don’t know how to define what’s age appropriate and what’s sexy as opposed to slutty, how will you ever find a perfect dress in a sea of choices?
Continuing to break all the rules, they waltz into the final store. They won’t name it; as they don’t want to rake a brand through the coals but they start picking up all sorts of skimpy ensembles. There are cat suits to be found, deep V neck dresses, glitter here there and everywhere and Hervé Léger bandage dress knock-offs at a tenth of the price.
But there was one detail that jumped out in the ladies’ minds. No matter where in the store the ladies scoured, they couldn’t find any dresses that were larger than a small. This was a bit disconcerting.
“Excuse me, miss,” Jasmine said to the sales associate. “Do you have any sizes in here for women who eat sandwiches?”
“You mean larger sizes?”
“Oh, we’d have to special order them from another store. We only carry up to mediums and all of our clothing is cut small.”
“So, how does anyone buy anything in here?” Jasmine asked.
“Regardless of their sizes, they just squeeze into the dresses.”
They squeeze into the dresses. They spend hundreds of dollars on clothing that doesn’t fit. They pour themselves into sausage casings and wear clothes cut so tightly that it can cause infections.
Why? Why do women do this? It makes no sense.
Continuing the experiment, Jasmine grabbed a couple of frocks and headed over to the dressing room. Each one she squeezed into fit more poorly than the next. The sales associate asked Jasmine if she’d black, mile high heels to complete the look.
Sure. Why not?
Jasmine parades around in front of Mandy and they both laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. She looks akin to Disney Fantasia‘s Dance of the Hippopotamus. Cue the music.
“You know, if I didn’t have any confidence this would completely wreck my self-esteem,” said Jasmine.
And that’s when this all made sense. It made sense why women get frustrated when they go shopping. They have too many choices and not enough guidance. They don’t know what rules work for their body types. They don’t know the difference between sexy and slutty. And when they want to find something that fits, they’re told that their contemporaries just squeeze into something far too small. No wonder women struggle with self-image and lack of confidence.
No wonder women, according to Glamor magazine 75 percent of women surveyed felt they were too fat, and more than 60 percent said they were dissatisfied with or ashamed of their stomach, hips and thighs. No wonder 97 percent of them admit to having at least one ‘I hate my body moment’ every day. And no wonder they have at least 13 brutal thoughts about their bodies daily.
Want to know how Jasmine and Mandy defined a healthy body in spite of squeezing into ill-fitting glittery dresses and toppling over in high heels?
They laughed, grabbed a coffee and talked about what their bodies can do. They talked about how they’re amazing in that they can give birth, do a real naked choke in jiu-jitsu, disable an armed gunman through Krav maga or that they can work hard to provide for their families. They laughed over their scars, their stretch marks and their curvy butts. Why? Because they’re friends and they have healthy self-images and a strong support system of people who love them regardless of how they look in ill-fitting clothing experiments.
And they know that according to Glamor magazine:
- 75 percent of women surveyed said professional achievements make them feel better about their body.
- 96 percent of women surveyed said they like their body more with exercise and
- 95 percent of women said getting compliments from other women makes them feel better about their shape.
So if you’re feeling like a proverbial hippo in a tutu like Jasmine did the other day, know that there’s nothing wrong with your body. You’re just squeezing into clothes that aren’t cut or sized for your body type.
You’re smart, sexy and if you’re lacking a little confidence, we can help you with that.