Drill Sergeant Explains How She Gained Confidence

Ruby, Inc. asked a number of women what it took to boost their confidence. You’ll quickly find it wasn’t that they magically became confident when they lost a few pounds, when their breasts became even or even when they thought they were finally perfect. It was something far greater and far more achievable. You can also read The Secret of Mastering Confidence here and Why Some Women Almost Always Appear Confident and Put Together here. Finally read When Your Stories Undermine Your Self-Confidence here. 

How I Gained Confidence
By Daliana Rivera, CEO Elite Revolutionary Solutions

I grew up being the kid everyone made fun of because I never had the hip, up-to date clothing or the same style as the other kids. As a way to become invisible in order to avoid getting picked on, I looked for clothing that was not so out of the ordinary or that would not attract too much attention to myself. Deep down, I wanted to have the modern, cool look. So, because of my struggles with my self-image growing up, I realized that I turned to jeans and t-shirts as a way to blend in in order not to get picked on.

These actions kicked me in the butt as an adult and it took a very long time for me to realize I could take control and turn things around. Because of the idea of becoming invisible, I never learned the basics regarding fashion, so dressing myself, or going shopping was dreadful, like a math problem that could not be solved. As an adult, I realized I had to do what I had avoided most of my life, I had to try to embrace fashion in order to feel better about myself. I am not saying I had to embrace shopping for Jimmy Choo shoes and Prada clothing. I mean, I had to learn to put myself together in a clean, neat, fresh way that wasn’t going to scream tomboy or that I was a shy, weak human being.

It took a lot of work to become self-confident by pushing myself to do things I would normally shy away from such as speaking in front of a group of people or sitting in the front row seat of a classroom. Most of all, I must give credit to my experience in the military. My being in the military forced me to stand in front of crowds knowing that I was going to be judged for the way I looked, the way I carried myself and what came out my mouth.

The wonderful thing about this was that I was explained and drilled in my head that judgments often don’t matter because people can be shallow and lack self-confidence themselves. What mattered most was that I stood in front of people and look confident in order to deliver a successful speech. I had to show dominance, reassurance and most of all, look like I enjoyed what I was doing and what I was speaking about.

You know what? It worked! That alone built my confidence until I no longer had to pretend and the more I did it, the more confident I became. There was still one thing left. I was confident in my uniform, but not in my civilian clothes and I noticed that when I dressed better, I felt better, more radiant, more confident, bolder and assertive. The clothes I wear and how I wear them make me feel empowered and women should feel that way all the time.

Confidence through dress attire is not something I have mastered yet, but I have Ruby, Inc.’s Jasmine Grimm who has helped me learn the basics. It’s so amazing knowing little things about fashion such as how to accessorize or knowing which types of cuts are for your body. I wish I had Jasmine to teach me these things in my high school years. Today, I would probably be saying I would relive those years if someone asked.

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